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The Doubleday Incident

This information is summarised on a document passed to you when you arrive for the Coven.

The following is a brief summary of the currently known information regarding the incident of the death of Sir Henry Doubleday, compiled by Profs. F. Lauchlan, W. Featherstonehaugh, and V. Eldridge from available sources.

On 29th March 2014, as part of a new initiative to cooperate with Sir Henry and the Hammer, several highly skilled Wytches accompanied highly trained Hammer agents to an area of interest near Glasgow:

  • Captain Deborah Slate, of The Heritage Trust
  • Dirk Saddler, of the Islander Communities
  • Prof. Fiona Lauchlan, of Marischal College
  • Alexandra “the Great” Lockhart, of the Magic Sphere
  • Amber Hartnell, of The Phoenix Movement

The purpose of the expedition was, to quote Hammer communications “to investigate a series of magical occurrences as a joint force” with a view to further improve relations following the success. The team arrived in early evening to Kilmacolm and proceeded with appropriate caution to investigate the disturbances in the woods.

The team advanced and evidence soon suggested that a rogue Wytch was to blame for the troubles - possibly a pyromancer from the scorch marks left on trees - and appropriate plans were put in motion to find them. During this, some large explosive spell was cast, hitting and killing Doubleday despite the presence of magical protectors.

What happened next is unclear. Reports suggest guns were fired, others that more spells were cast. The Wytches involved fled, and the Hammer later returned with the body of Sir Henry.

Further investigations are ongoing and assistance is desperately requested.

"HMMR Comes Down Hard"

NEW RESTRICTIONS on 'Wytches' announced by Magical Regulator - but will they be ENOUGH?

ONE MONTH on from the now infamous Doubleday Incident, which revealed to the country and the world the existence of the supposed occult practitioners known as 'Wytches', new restrictions on the secret world of magic-users are being imposed by the Government.

In a press conference yesterday, Gregory Newell, public relations officer for Her Majesty's Magical Regulator, announced a slew of measures designed to bolster existing limits on Wytch activity, including the introduction of a midnight curfew for all Wytches, and bans on the sale of various items to those unable to produce a valid passport. When asked by the Post whether the curfew's timings were chosen to coincide with the mystical 'witching hour' at which magic is supposedly strongest, Newell stated that he “could not comment on the specific motivations for these changes”, but warned the public that “we have reason to believe certain Wytch elements may be conspiring in secret to launch terror attacks against the British people.”

“With the support of the Prime Minister, the Magical Regulator stand ready to defend against these threats to our way of life”, he added.

The weeks following the Doubleday Incident have seen increased unease among Whitehall officials and the public about the true extent of the danger posed by the Wytches. Questions are increasingly being asked about how much the Government really knew about this threat before its explosive revelation. Prime Minister Samuel Hancock has reaffirmed his lack of prior knowledge, saying to reporters: “Let us be absolutely clear: no-one in the Coalition knew anything about this until the truly tragic death of Sir Henry last month. It is my strong belief that our response to these revelations has been the right one, and that we have demonstrated to the British public that in times of crisis, this Government is prepared to make the tough decisions that are right for the continued security of our national interests.”

  • Page 10: Worries about 'magical construction materials' push house prices to SIX-MONTH HIGH.
  • Page 12: We answer YOUR questions on how the new Wytch Laws affect YOU.
  • Competition: Your chance to WIN a family camping holiday in the FOREST OF DEAN!

- The Daily Post

You will have heard on the grapevine that while the new measures being introduced by the Hammer were officially announced last night, it appears that they do not actually come into force for another week. When asked to comment on what items would actually be included on the list, Gregory Newell alluded to “concerns over certain substances thought to be used in occult rituals”, but refused to give a definitive list, claiming that ”[the Hammer] does not want to publicise the ingredients and implements used to create objects of potential danger to the general public.”

Influential Pyromancer Benjamin Ashen has been quoted as calling the decision not to publicise the list “counter-intuitive and potentially malicious”, and has warned the Wytch community to take extra care about concealing their identities when necessary.

"Cooperation and Unity"

SIR - I am truly disturbed by the sheer weight of people who even now, one month on, continue to spout such uninformed and, frankly, bigoted nonsense about our newly discovered 'Wytch' population. Have these people no self-awareness of their actions? What I find most concerning is that HMMR - who, might I add, were equally unknown until a month ago - are by all appearance being given free rein by this Government to help spread these fear-mongering cries of moral panic. How can a Prime Minister who claims to be a 'champion of equality' (although given the make-up of his Cabinet, one might argue that claim to be dubious anyway) be so passive in allowing Messrs Morton and Newell to make such inflammatory statements in the name of the Crown?
T Richardson, London

SIR - Has no-one considered the many benefits that accepting magic-users into our society might bring? While it may be the case that only a chosen few may ever be able to wield such power, surely there must be ways it can be used to enrich the lives of all citizens, just as the advent of electricity and the transistor has revolutionised the way we live our lives today? It seems obvious that we shouldn't be shunning these people, but welcoming them - particularly since we seem to have most of the world's supply of them - I don't see them coming out of the woodwork abroad as they are here!
S Cayley, Sussex

- Letters to the Editor, The Sentinel


A resurgence of “Keep Calm and Carry On” witch-sympathy posters has been seen on the Internet recently. Young people are flocking to the fairy-tale idea of Hogwarts and Harry Potter, but the reality could not be further than this romanticised image. These “wytches” may have a “y” in the place of an “i”, but they are no different to the evil hags of old stories.

Although news of these people has only just come to light, we have to ask ourselves what these freaks have been doing while we haven't known about them. How many children have they kidnapped and boiled to make a potion? How many curses have they brought on innocent households across the United Kingdom?

The cry of the witch-sympathiser is already worryingly common. “They're misunderstood”, they say, “they're just like us.” Such talk is dangerous and foolish - of course these masters of sorcery want us to think they're friendly, that's the whole guise. Then, when you least expect it… (more on page 7)

- The Daily Crusader

Just Arrived at Diablo: Fake Beards

Does the Hammer know your face just too well?
Are you banned from your local pub unfairly?
Are you just a bit ugly?

Then look no further than Diablo Magic Supplies' newest acquisitions: the Fake Beard! Not only is it woven from the softest of horse hair, and not only does it fit like it was charmed, but this beard, when applied, can change your face entirely for up to an hour!

Supplies are limited due to recent Hammer activities, so prices must be negotiated with Mr Havenbrook in person.

(Diablo Magic Supplies take no responsibility for any embarrassment, disfigurement or other injury that may occur whilst using this product)

Firebrand: The Hottest Venue?

Firebrand nightclubs are proving to truly be the hottest place to go on a night out as Tom Hiddleston is spotted entering one of the exclusive VIP areas in a branch in London, the latest in a long line of celebrities spotted there.

There are unconfirmed rumours that he was there on a Wytch-only night.

The Trenchcoat strikes again

Metropolitan Police have been left perplexed and art critics somewhat amused by the latest “Trenchcoat Rat” graffiti art found in South Westminster, in which a wall has been painted as if revealing the inside of the house (an old man in his underwear watching television), but more interestingly the artist's signature of themself in a trenchcoat leaning against a lamp-post has the addition of him reading a catalogue for Sotheby's, where art by Banksy has recently been put up for sale against his wishes.

Art critics have requested the police not tamper with the piece which they say could be worth “millions”.

- The Daily Telegram


  • Wytches are reponsible for the Recession!
  • The street magician Nitro is actually a Wytch.
  • #sheturnedmeintoanewt
  • It's Labour's fault we didn't hear about the Wytches until just now.
  • … what if JK Rowling was trying to write an exposé and we just didn't listen?
  • Wytches Killed Diana
  • #igotbetter
  • A Labour Government would have coped with the Doubleday Crisis much better than the Coalition.
  • Who needs magic anyway?
  • Emma Watson? Totally a Wytch.
  • Amazing Photo of a Wytch Who Looks Like Hitler!
  • Benedict Cumberbatch? Totally a Wytch - I mean, have you seen those cheekbones?!
  • Can we get the Wytches to use magic to bring back Firefly?
  • Wytches use magic to cover up their naturally ugly faces, but now thanks to the new No. 7 foundation now you can get a complexion so smooth you too might be arrested for it!
  • #burnthemall
  • Homeopaths are secretly Wytches in disguise, that's why scientists always try to discredit them.
  • #BurnTheMall?
  • 32 Ways To Tell If Your Best Friend Is Actually A Wytch.
news/0.txt · Last modified: Tue 29 Apr 2014, 17:05:40 UTC by gm_jamesc
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